ranting about anything and everything a mixture of pent up thoughts

Hi.

i am like Dr.phil, to most ppl or that is the name given to me, i have earned that title. I help people who need help. I would like to say i do more than dr.phil. Because not only do i help people i make them feel better and give them good advice. I have helped more gals and guys than you can shake a finger at, mostly girls though since i tend to get along better with females than i do with guys. But out of the blue a whole bunch of people just came to me telling me their problems. I dont know if they knew or even cared if i had any problems myself or even knew how to fix or help them fix theirs. I guess im just easy to talk to and a great listener as they say. Turns out my advice is spot on. And somehow i always know how to make a person feel better, no matter how big of a burden a smile is something i can conjure out of the blue on the face of a saddened person. ok now most of the time people come to me with relationship problems. Other times they just want somebody to talk 2 and to make them smile. Easy. Done. Now one would think that oh hes the relationship guy his girlfriend must be one lucky chick.....errr wrong... dont have one..... lolz the laws of irony dictates that i stay single.... i have had numerous successful relationships in the past. only thing was distance. Now ive only had one bad relationship... and let me tell you the sun exploding wouldnt have been bad as this... but we are not going into details. Now, i like helping all of these people. It makes me feel like im actually doing something with my life. But the only thing is i would like for somebody to be my Dr.Phil. But to be honest i dont think anybody would be able to handle it... as much as i would want them too. But its good to have somebody to talk 2. I am that person to talk to for a lot of people. if only they would return the favor. but i dont stress it. sometimes i just think i wish i had someone i can confide in and express myself too... i mean i do ok in the poems i write,but it cant take away the pain like a hug can, or somebody saying that everything will be allright. sometimes i put myself in their shoes. i say things to them that i long for somebody to say to me. it makes them feel better and means a whole lot to them and it usually makes them feel better. i think that is why im so good at this...  I deal with stress very well if you havent already established. i bottle everything up and keep moving.... i know this is bad but i do it anyway its how i coped with my childhood its how i cope with todays world... they say you bring your childhood problems into your adult answers... this i think is true.... as i progress into a man more and more each day i think back to my past and wonder, what if things were different? what if she hadnt gone to heavens gate, and left me here, what if he finished medical school instead of dropping out to take care of us. but then again i can only wonder. I can not change the past. i think that the perfect girl is one that respects herself first. Me personally im trying to achieve my life goals... although i would like a companion to help push me through it i dont have one... not many people like the stuff i like or is willing to try new things like i am... not as eclectic as i am either, but i am willing to make amends. but she has to have her head screwed in straight, and must realize that school comes first for the both of us. then eachother.... ahhh the perfect chica... out there somewhere waitin for me.... i recently was talking to somebody she made me smile a hell of a lot, but her loyalties were elsewhere... i came out of it feeling used... like i was a replacement filler for the time being.... i felt like a condom i was used and discarded off to the side... well my thoughts to that is.... well fuck you too. End. Is it wrong to wish somebody not to be happy for your own amends? i think it is, but i didnt care. but as time moved on i realized that it was a useless thing. i can already predict the outcome of her situation, shes lookin for somethin he not ready to give... she gonna get hurt and cry to me... blah blah im gonna be like i told you so... you didnt listen to me and thats that. but this will be the second time this has happened... im talking about a specific incident if you havent noticed... but wateva who cares... Dumb people suck by the way. their incompetence scares me...  how can one be so ignorant and stupid. they say ignorance is bliss, i now believe this statement fully. some people dont learn and are just dumb. all those tears were fake and were lies... sometimes i wish for revenge.... sooo out of my character, but i wish all the pain that was caused to me to be inflicted 10fold back.... i actually dont wish that to happen but thats how i feel... now fake friends..... im doing it cuz i dont want to be an asshole.... the awkwardness is open and things just aint the same... ive never wanted 2 cuss somebody out till now.... i was emotionally detached the whole time. Just to see what you would do... but now you are setting youself up for the same thing you were in before me... you dumbass.... dont come crying to me when you are done... errrrr sorry lol the person that im reffering 2 prob wont read this but who cares... i dont like to see people hurt thats why im there to help them and make them feel better, i guess thats just wat i do.